Lord Knows It's Not Easy Being A Woman

We all know it's hard to be a woman.
It's even harder to be a Christian woman ... especially in this day and age.

The modern woman faces so many obstacles that might keep us from being our very best.
The world we live in is confusing and often times harmful.

A staggering number of women come from broken homes. I did. My parents have been apart ever since I can remember. Growing up, it was just my mom, my little sister and I. Often times I've told myself that I have been better off because my father was never around. I'm a tough cookie, so to speak, but every little girl needs that first man in her life to look up to. A good father loves his daughter (and wife) unconditionally, and in doing so teaches by example how a man ought to treat a woman. In turn, when that girl becomes a woman, the men that she'll encounter must measure up to that standard. Not to be overlooked is a mother's role our lives. Let's face it, we are like our mother's to some degree. We see how they act, we see how they treat our fathers, we see how they contribute to the world. If we grow up in a home without a mother, we are growing up without an important teacher.

There are also many women who have experienced some type of abuse (verbal, physical, sexual, emotional) from there father, boyfriend, uncle, husband, brother or complete stranger. In a lesser way, we have all probably experienced something similar. Whether it was a boyfriend who cheated on us or a random guy who called you a derogatory name or was aggressive. We have gotten used to being treated badly. We are numb to it. We think it's normal for guys to talk to us like we're garbage, to treat us like imbeciles. Because we are so used to this behavior from men we have lost respect for ourselves.

Then, there's the idea that the world puts into our minds about how we as women are supposed to act, talk, dress, interact with one another and with men. Look at the shows that are on television. They depict women that lie to get what they want, who are sexually promiscuous, who give up family and friends for want of their own desires; women that are more concerned with shopping, gossiping and staying up-to-date with the seasons latest fads than with their faith, their family or with being true to themselves. What about the female celebrities we try to emulate. They've become our new standard for living. We somehow rationalize that if we could have bigger lips or more money or a new wardrobe we would be happier. The root word of happy is hap. The definition of the word hap is an occurrence or happening. Happiness is temporary.

Have you ever called another woman a degrading word? Sure you have. We ALL have. What kind of message are we sending to guys? We expect today's men to respect us but we can't even respect each other! Girls, we make up 51% of the human population! Imagine what we could accomplish if we were all on the same team?!?! Sometimes, we need to remember that EVERYONE has tough times. EVERYBODY has quirks. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US has problems. We should be there for one another, not chomping at the bit to pull out each others hair. We are supposed to be brothers and sisters in Christ. Do you treat every woman you meet like she was your own flesh and blood sister?

Last, is our misconception about what love is. When two people are in love they take care of one another, support each other, they are honest with their mate. They are considerate of the others feelings and needs. They share both laughter and tears. If you truly love someone then that feeling of love never goes away. It's not a sometimes kind of thing or a variable. It's not, "I love you now because you make me happy or because I'm getting what I want." Our society has taught us that we should always get to be happy. We should always get what we want. You don't like your car - we'll help you buy a better one. You don't like the way your nose looks - get a new one. You don't like your spouse - just get a divorce. We don't have to actually mean it when we say "I do" nowadays. It's more like, "I might." Ladies, I'm not saying stay with him even if you treats you badly. If the man you're with isn't good for you then he's no good for you. Stay together because you love one another, because you make each other better. If two people love each other they KNOW it. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. I know that he loves me, and he knows that I love him. We also know that that could never change. If my husband had an accident and became terribly disfigured...I'd still love him. If, tomorrow, my arms and legs fell off...he'd still love me. We get mad. We argue. We huff and puff. But we don't stop loving.

I can relate to all of these issues. My parents are divorced and I've dealt with men who mistreated me. I often feel pressure to be a "pretty" girl. I still can't help but compare myself to other women - no matter how hard I've tried. I'm happier and less stressed when there's more money in my bank account. I've been disrespectful and uncaring towards other women more times than I care to count. And I've made lots of mistakes in the love department.

How many of us can genuinely say that we are okay with who we are? How many of us can say that we are content with what we have? How many of us can say that we have healthy, satisfying relationships with the people in our lives?

More importantly, how can we be?

Look up! Yes, I'm serious. Take your eyes off the screen...and look up!

God knows you. He knows your problems; your needs. And he IS the answer!

Maybe, you grew up without your mom or dad. Guess what, God is the Father. We are all his children. Maybe, there's someone that really hurt you. God knows what they did. And He will take care of it. Or you feel lost in the world, let Him be your shepherd. Maybe you want to know what real love is. The love of our Lord is the greatest love of all. God is love. If we surrender ourselves to the Lord he will provide. He's there waiting for us to ask for his help.

All you have to do is ask...

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
-Isaiah 41:10

What would God think of me?

Being a new Christian, there's so much that I don't know - don't understand. For example, in my day-to-day life, it's often difficult for me to realize the far reaches of God's awesome power. "Of old hast thou laid the foundation of the earth: and the heavens are the work of thy hands." -Psalms 102:25 To think that he shaped not only the very earth that we live on; every mountain, plain and valley, but also me?!?! And to try to wrap my mind around the power he has in every single aspect of all of our lives...it's amazing!

He formed with his own two hands all the features of my body, the curvature of my cheekbones, the color of my eyes, my fingers and toes. He knows me better than I know myself! "O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether." -Psalms 139:1-4 Anotherwards, there isn't anything that I've done or said or even thought that he doesn't know about...or will know about for that matter.
I'll be driving down the road when someone cuts me off and inside my head I'm calling that person all sorts of names (because my daughter's in the car) and suddenly it pops into my mind, "Oh, no." That kind of thing really makes you re-evaluate your life.

And that's what I've been trying to do. Re-evaluate my life. My whole life. What I say, what I do, the clothing that I wear, the way I raise my daughter, my private thoughts...everything. Before I was born again, I never gave those types of things very much thought. Basically, whatever felt good to me or whatever I thought other people would approve of was what I would decide to do. If I was out with a group of friends and they were cussing and making nasty remarks about the stranger sitting across the bar I would join in. But when I would go to dinner with my in-laws I wouldn't dare talk like that! I purposely wore revealing tops that left little to the imagination, along with low-rise jeans that barely covered my bottom. When preparing myself to go into public I was constantly thinking about how I could dress or do my make-up to make sure that I looked "sexy". But when anyone would stare at me I would feel this mix of emotions. I was happy to get the attention, but I felt as if they were looking at me like a piece of meat on display at the butcher shop. I loved it when guy would comment on how hot I was, but I also felt that I could no longer be actual friends with him. And if another girl came up and told me that I was pretty I automatically assumed that she must be jealous or had alterior motives.

Not surprisingly, and as a result of my behavior, I soon began to see my 2 year old daughter trying to emulate me. She would look at herself vainly in the mirror for long periods of time. She would refer to herself as sexy. And tried to act more like a 20 year old than a 2 year old. People, children are walking sponges! They are constantly absorbing EVERYTHING!

So, I began to ask myself more and more, "What would God think of _____?"

• What would God think of the way I'm dressed?
• What would God think of the music I'm listening to?
• What would God think of my friends?
• What would God think of how I've raised my child?
• What would God think of my favorite television show?
• What would God think about all of my possessions?
  

What would God think of YOU?

We know his standards. They're in the Bible. The Ten Commandments for starters. Let's see.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. (I practiced Buddhism and was at one time an Atheist.)
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. (Oh, you mean like that shrine I made for J.T.T.?!)
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. (I really messed that one up!)
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. (Does sleeping off a hangover count?)
5. Honour thy father and thy mother. (I've disrespected my parents more than a time or two.)
6. Thou shalt not kill. (Well, I've never killed person. But I've thought about it.)
7. Thou shalt not commit adultary. (I've cheated on boyfriends and lusted after men.)
8. Thou shalt not steal. (I shoplifted something once.)
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. (I can't think of a time. But I'm sure I must have.)
10. Thou shalt not covet. ( I've been envious of my friends, family, celebrities...)

I've messed up so much in the past. I still mess up. But what's important to me and to God is that I'm doing my best to live the way he wants me to. I'm not going to lie. It's very, very hard. The more I try to be godly the more I feel myself separating from the world. But I've come to realize that I don't want to be part of this world. More than anything I want to be part of the His great and glorious kingdom! God loves us no matter what. If I was the saintliest of saints or the worst of sinners, He doesn't care. I can't say the same for the world. To the people who know me, they could love me or hate me, take me or leave me. Their love is not unchanging or everlasting. God's is!!! And I'm so grateful for that. So what better way to show my appreciation for the Lord's unending love for me than to live the way He wants me to live...FOR HIM.

To those of you reading this, ask yourself some of these questions and be truthful with yourself. You can't decieve God...why decieve yourself???

Now, make a change.

My Blog : Genesis

I've started this blog as a way to share my own personal thoughts and feelings about the world (and it's dismal state), my life, my faith, my personal growth and all the goings on of my day-to-day life, from the perspective of a young Christian woman.

Let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Trina. I'm 23 years old. I'm also a wife and mother. My husband, Luke, and I have been together for 7 years now, and we have a daughter, Lily. I got saved on June 5th of 2005 and was baptized on June 29th of 2008. I'm what you would call a new Christian...a babe in Christ.

My goal for this blog is to be able to reach out to other women who may (or may not) be like me - women of all ages, having a variety of backgrounds and personal beliefs, but who all share one common desire...to be the woman they ought to be. To be the woman that is loving, smart, understanding, strong, patient and unique. We all want to that inner peace that no amount of days at the spa or boxes of chocolate can bring us. We all want to find that Mr. Right who is out there somewhere. We all need that one best friend in our lives who gives us just what we need right when we need it.

Well, ladies I believe that I've found a way to attain all this and more! And I want to share the good news with you...